Respect

Empowerment in your 20's . As I look around at my peers, and I've had this conversation before, a lot of us grew up extremely fast. Whether it be via marriage, children, college, career, whatever...everything we do we do it at an extremely fast pace.

Personally, I've been working since I was 14. I never liked not working, it gave me a sense of purpose. I'll never forget when I told someone in my 8th grade class that I had applied for a job she told me I would never get it. From that moment forward I think I've been trying to prove myself professionally. And I think that I have. Now that I'm in transition from one job to another I just have a couple of things to say about people who underestimate the power of a 20-something in the workplace.

I got my 3rd job of my life when I was 16. I kept that job for 4 years and it got me through high school and brought some of the best people into my life. But besides that, I grew into the hard worker I am because of that job. I was the go-to person regardless of the fact that I never had a store key or managerial responsibility. But I knew the safe codes, I would balance registers, I would organize transfers, I would mediate returns...you name it I could do it and I did it for dirt cheap. That company treated me like garbage and I will continue to talk people out of working for them. Just because I was young doesn't mean I didn't know what they were doing. Empty promises of managerial positions were made regularly. You know how many times I saw my district manager? Twice, in 4 years. You know how many store managers we went through while I sat idly by in my non-managerial position? 5, in 4 years. You know how many times I got a raise for my continued hard work and constant dedication? Never. Because I was 16 and I needed to turn 18. Because I was 18 and I needed to graduate high school. But instead of graduating and becoming a manager, I graduated and moved to New York. When I came back on Christmas break and worked for them how did they thank me? By reducing my pay by $.50 an hour. Why? Because I was 19 and they had zero respect for me or my work.

My job in New York actually respected me and treated me as an adult, and continue to write recommendation letters to this day. But my job after that reverted right back to me being 20 and not treated as an equal.

I was put into a managerial position finally and was convinced that because of that I would earn some respect. But my subordinates were older than me and didn't feel like they had to listen to me. My store and district managers saw that as my problem, and had to be dealt with on my own. When I proved myself to be knowledgeable and someone they could count on, I still didn't gain respect. Instead I got told that I was just too young and needed to understand that power only came with age. I'm sorry, but WHAT? I am in your store, willing to work for you and serve customers who are over-privileged and look down on me, and you're going to disrespect me because of my age? That's disgraceful. What needs to be understood is that the next leaders are currently in the workforce right now and need to be treated as equals. When that doesn't happen, the results will be worse than whatever you think they are.

The position that I'm transitioning out of was an eye-opener. I got the job because in my interview they said I was absolutely what they were looking for. I got a raise within the first 2 months. I was on cloud 9. And then they got greedy. I took this job telling them that I was going to school full-time. That was my priority. I already couldn't graduate on time because FGCU wouldn't take my credits OR MY DEGREE from NYU but that's a whole other rant in itself. So I gave them my time while I was at work but when I'm not at work, I don't owe you anything. But more and more, they started piling more and more on my desk. And then when my work wasn't good enough, they told me I wasn't good enough. I'm sorry, because you want me to do the work of 3 people, my ONE self isn't good enough? No. I won't take being treated that way. I might be 22 and naive and "unprofessional" as my boss so lovingly put it, but I know what I'm doing. I can guarantee you there is not a single person who has met me in a professional capacity that would call me unprofessional. And I truly think he only feels that way because I bring the median age down in this office by a good 20 years. Age is not to be looked at with respect or disrespect. Someone could be 60 and never had a solid career in their lives. Or they could be 25 and know exactly what they're doing. Experience is key, not age. It may come quickly, it may come slow. It doesn't matter how it happens, if you have the skills you have the skills.

I refuse to be belittled because of my age. It happens constantly and bothers me to no end. I will be learning until the day I die but that doesn't mean I'm not knowledgeable. I firmly believe that the day you stop learning something new, your life is over.

Sorry I ranted, but I think ageism is a real thing and highly ridiculous. Feel free to disagree.

xx
Gina

Friends in Low Places

So maybe I'm naive but I think all people are inherently good. I put so much faith in people I don't even know and I get told a lot that I'm crazy, but I don't think I am.

When I was growing up the shows I watched the most were Cops and America's Most Wanted. Those aren't the most happy-go-lucky shows on TV but I took one thing away from it. Every story started with something along the lines of "Our small town was the safest place in the world, locking your front door was unheard of, until...[insert tragedy here]." I always thought that was crazy. How one incident changes how a whole town lives their lives.

I think that way because that's how I am. I lock my door because I'm "supposed" to, but I don't feel like I have to. When I run into the gas station 99% of the time I leave my car running with the windows down. I truly believe no one is going to steal it. I gave money to someone yesterday while I was getting gas and I truly believe he used it to get gas. Maybe not, maybe he needed a pack of cigarettes but at the same time...I don't care. He's struggling...I'm not. Even if someone did steal my car, I would probably feel bad for them. They're going through something way worse than I am and they needed it. They'll get theirs, I'll get insurance and replace what I lost.

I feel the same about how people are towards one another. That's why it's so hard for me to let go of friends or relationships. Even when I've been wronged I can find a light inside the other person. Everyone has a light even when it's being dimmed by their inner demons and I think we all need to remember that. Each and every one of us is fighting some sort of battle, big or small. All of our actions are responses to personal situations. So if you're choosing to not be the friend I may need, I know it's because you're going through your own thing. If you don't need me to be there for you, that's your decision. I know that any person who has wronged me, short of physically harming someone I care about, I will be there for if they asked.

Just remember that there is good inside of everyone. Maybe you just need to listen a little closer. Look in someone's eyes when they're talking to you. Read body language. It's there, I swear. Be more open and you'll see a lot clearer.

xx
Gina

Today I rant. Mostly about work, but maybe some other things too.

So three days a week I come to work at 7, the other two I'm in at 8. It usually ends up that most days it's 8 because getting up at 6 is just sick. I don't have to clock in, I always take an hour lunch, and I leave when I'm supposed to because I do technically have a time-card, but it's nothing a computer calculates. I make my own time cards. The point is, Thursdays we have meetings. They're at 8 and I'm in at 8 these days, so perfect. Twice, I have come in at 8:05. Now, these meetings have about less than nothing to do with me. I'm the tech girl. I'm behind the scenes and I do everything no one else pays attention to nor talks about in a "team morale" meeting. But I got called out for being "late" which yeah I hate being late regardless so trust me I'm already mad at myself...so now I make sure I'm on time. Well, for the past two weeks and two weeks last month, the meeting has not happened without any heads up to me. So here I am, going to Dunkin Donuts because whoever thinks I'm not stopping is absurd and they take good care of me...but I never know how long the line is going to be and I have to make up time on the road for that lost waiting for my coffee. And then I get to work at 7:58 and BOOM no meeting and my boss isn't even here. I'm over it.

Then, I get called out for leaving at 4 or 5 on the dot. Yeah, I get called out for leaving when I'm supposed to. For those of my friends in retail, leaving on the dot is like bible to those people. If you stay longer they will literally shank you, so you go when it's time. I'm not salary, therefore I leave right when I'm supposed to because it's ingrained in me. Sure, I'll stay longer but I'm going to put it on my time-card....you gonna pay me? That's what I thought, you're welcome. AND it's not like I'm leaving to go throw a party...I'm leaving to go to class. Do you understand not only what 75 is like at 5pm between Immokalee and Corkscrew? Parking at FGCU when classes get out? Yeah, didn't think so. Shut your mouth.

Fast forward 10 minutes to just now when my boss called me to his desk to ask me a question. So, the woman I work closest with I would say I know pretty well. I understand how she works, what she looks for, all that stuff. So she's out at a meeting this morning and I forwarded her an email that's gonna really help what we're working on. Except my boss intercepted it because he's insane and was like "well, she won't be here until a little later, I check her email just in case." Okay crazy, what's your question. He asked why I worded something a certain way and when I said "because I know how she works and that's how she'll understand it..." he's like "well I don't like it." 1. Stop reading her email, we have it under control. 2. You don't have to like it, it's how we work. 3. You probably don't like when we make up songs about each other and sing them terrible for 20 minutes straight...but we do that anyway. GET OVER IT.

K I'm done.

xx
Gina