Meeting someone at work or at school has long become a thing of the past. These days, we trade personal interactions for virtual ones to keep the world at arm's length. At least that's what I've done.
I was excited when I first heard about Tinder almost 2 years ago now. I could choose who I wanted to talk to based on some pictures and a quick profile? Very cool. I started speaking to someone almost immediately and couldn't get past how weird it would be to actually meet them so I never did it. (Fun fact, I reached out almost a year later just for kicks and he was dating someone but asked if I wanted him to "come over real quick.")
Fast forward to the past year or so, I've used Tinder on multiple occasions just for fun. I got dumped a couple of times and I was ready to just let it all out and act like a 22 year old. I found South Florida to be a great place to Tinder, especially in the spring because it is all Spring Breakers and baseball players here for Spring Training. Any girls dream. I did this a couple of times, never anything serious and never with anyone I was desperate to see more than once. But even then it got really old really fast.
That's when I tried OKCupid. "Maybe the men here are more serious," I thought. You had to actually answer personality questions, there was a little more substance, and it was free. (I'm still fighting the idea of paying for a dating service at 23.) And it really was better. The guys seemed cooler, they message you constantly and I could choose who I wanted to reply to. But it was still all the same. They ask for pictures of you that "wouldn't be on your profile", they want your number because "you can't trust the messaging on the app", and it is still all about sex.
Not to say there is anything wrong with only wanting to hook up with someone you meet online. I did it for a while but eventually it just seems pointless. I know I have a lot more to offer in a relationship so that's what I'm going to look for.
Every once in a while you'll find the good ones, too. The ones who hold a conversation but don't ask you to strip for them. (Or ask if you have a snapchat because that is the exact same thing.) You can talk to them for days or weeks and be really excited about finding someone different. They're smart and a lot like you. You set a date to meet and you're actually looking forward to it. And then...you meet.
Texting and online communication ruins personal interactions. The way someone talks in a text doesn't have anything to do with their voice or their inflection. That valencia filter hides...exactly what they want it to hide. How awkward I am sitting across for you is taken away when I can just text you. So now, you meet this person you've been talking to for quite some time and it's just...different. That curiosity that propelled you forward is now quelled and there's nothing to keep you interested. They might even be just as attractive in person as they are in pictures. But now they're real and that's scary.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Are we that afraid of something real that we jump from conversation to conversation and run at the first sign of human interaction? I guess I'll never understand it, and I think my time using the internet to try and find a connection has come to an end. Best of luck to those who continue to use it and have done so effectively; you have found something most illusive.
