Growing up I
always knew I was a little different than everyone else. It was never outwardly
obvious, I just felt it inside and I knew it to be true. When I was in kindergarten
“Accelerated Reading” was being introduced and we were to read books and take
tests on them to show we understood what we were reading. There are different
levels for these books and you would test into different levels as your ability
to read and retain information advanced. The first book I ever took an AR test
on was Wayside School is Falling Down
by Louis Sachar. It was 192 pages long with 30 chapters. I got a 100% on the
test. From that moment forward, Mrs. Bell, my teacher at the time, treated me
just a little different. I was pulled aside a lot and eventually was taken for
a test to place me into gifted classes. I started those classes in the 1st
grade. That was when I learned that being different was fun. Being the child
that was just a little bit special came with rewards; my own table in the classroom,
leaving the room for special tests, getting treats from the teachers who would
pull me out, and the chance to compete in spelling bees and math competitions.
Everything that happened in those formative years brought me to where I am
today; but currently I’ve let down the little girl who got a 100% on her first
AR test. That drive to succeed and be the best is gone and it can be found in
New York City.
I was accepted to
New York University in March of my senior year in high school. I had told my
parents I was going to NYU when I was 10 years old and nothing was going to
change my mind. I was naturally talented in school and I couldn’t lose. I aced
everything, didn’t bat an eye at homework and thoroughly enjoyed going to
school. I got to middle school and school became slightly more difficult as I
entered into all-day gifted classes as opposed to the one day a week I was used
to. But I still didn’t get deterred. I still liked school and I enjoyed being
the best. I tried so hard because I wanted my peers to know that I was a force
to be reckoned with. That all changed my freshmen year of high school. I was
working part-time at Publix, I ran for student council and became the class
Vice President, and joined the volleyball team as well as a handful of other clubs.
Combined with classes, this super-girl persona I had created was beginning to
meet her match. I had to quit my job and eventually, when my family life was becoming difficult and student government didn’t prove to be as perfect as
I was, I checked out of school. I would fight for the next 3 years of high
school to get my GPA back up to an acceptable level and to gain the respect of
my classmates I was always looking for.
However, come
graduation I was still voted Most Likely to Succeed, had my acceptance letter
to NYU in my hand, and gave the commencement speech at graduation. I spoke to
my peers about dreaming and believing that anything we wish to accomplish in
this world is possible as well as without limitation. I inspired myself into
believing that I could make it in New York and all of my dreams would come
true. But reality is never quite the same as our hopes and dreams.
I got to New York
and realized right away I was at a school with people who completely understood
me. They, too, were the ones pulled out of class when they were 5 years old.
They were the winners of their spelling bees and math competitions. They
pioneered charity events in high school and were looking to continue that in
New York. We had heated discussions about philosophy and religion and the
origin of it all. I was right where I belonged, but never could afford to be.
Once the money became too much of a burden on myself and my family, I had to
make the decision to transfer to FGCU. Fort Myers was home and I could go to school
for free versus the $60,000 I was paying in New York. So I graduated NYU with
my Associate’s Degree and am finishing my Bachelor’s at FGCU. And I say my
drive and my passion and my desire to be the absolute best version of myself is
in New York because I went back on my word. I told my peers on graduation day
to reach for the stars and not let anything ever get in the way of that. But I
didn’t listen to my own words. I let money get in the way of my dream and I
feel as though I am back at square one. That little girl is disappointed, too.
I pride myself on
being the strongest person in the room. I am a problem solver and will take the
risks for the masses to let them know it is safe to pass. I will always lead,
therefore refusing to follow. Now that I have done the weakest thing I could think
of, leaving New York, I try to find that passion for success other places. I
have been working since I was 14 except for that brief stint my freshmen year
of high school and one semester in New York. Upon returning I obtained
full-time employment and have held a job somewhere ever since. Full-time school
and full-time work are my requirements for trying to make up for what I gave
up. This way, my goal of being successful can still exist.
Ultimately, I
would love to be a writer. While in New York I really honed my skill and dug
deep into the creativity I have been cultivating for quite some time now. I haven’t worked on it since being home, as
here in Fort Myers that’s not very practical, but I always hope to one day get
there. My plan is to find enough success, monetarily and otherwise, to help me
get there. My most recent profession is within resort hospitality at The
Ritz-Carlton Beach Resort in Naples. Choices of positions at all levels of a
business operation are possible now that my foot is in this door and I hope to
find myself in a far away land full of inspiration.
When your whole
life has been set around wanting to change the world and do it with a full
heart, it’s disappointing when you feel as though you have given up on it. I
don’t regret the choices I’ve made however I do regret losing the passion I
once had to be the best at everything I set my mind to. I intend to ultimately
get it back, as I keep striving towards my degree and my ultimate goals that I
know will not only make me happy, but will make my family and those closest to
me happy. Although they tell me that they only hope for my happiness, I know my
loved ones are looking for more from me. I was the little girl who could read
when she was 3 years old. I was the girl who organized the fundraiser that won
the National Junior Honor Society national award for excellence in middle
school. I was the girl who did it all and never faced a problem she couldn’t
solve. As I continue to learn and grow in my education I do believe I will find
that person again and successfully achieve all that I set my mind to.
While in college,
or preparing to graduate from it, we tend to look back at everything that got
us to where we are now. For me, it’s a tough look back because of all of the
things I would change. We see ourselves differently when looking back versus
the moment of making our choices, or at least I do. I have lost and gained a
lot of friends along the way, some I never would have thought I would lose and
some I never thought I would end up close to. I have thought I was in love and
lost it. Then I was really in love and realize now what that feels like, and I
lost that too. Because of all of the things I’ve seen and experienced I know I
am a different person than I used to be. However, I am still that stubborn,
strong-headed, leader of the pack I have always been; right now, it is just
somewhere deep within. My goal is to unleash that again someday and change the
world the way I know I can. My peers saw it in me in high school when they not
only voted me Most Likely to Succeed, but when they hand picked me to be the
one to send them off at graduation. My ultimate goal is to inspire in all
aspects of life. Being the best version of yourself personally and
professionally is something to be proud of and all of the steps we take to get
there will forge the outcome.
