Changes

I'm feelin' Tupac this morning. Everything changes. I hate change. Absolutely despise it. If everything could be the same every day, knowing what to expect, what was going to hurt, what was going to make me happy, etc, I could prepare for it and be ready to tackle the day. I'm never prepared. I never know. I've been slapped around a lot lately and now I know.....everything changes and you're not supposed to be prepared.

People will surprise you. "Life will surprise you if you let it," says Michelle Hoffmann, my intelligent older sister whose insight punches to the core 99% of the time. It has been surprising me left and right lately, good and bad. You win some, you lose some. When it used to stop me in my tracks, now it pushes me forward. I have gained so much closure in the past few weeks simply by focusing on me. It's funny how when you focus on you, others are attracted to your energy and will either fall in or fall out. 

I have taken the steps necessary for me. I like to think I'm superwoman, but it turns out that I'm not. Ginamazing is a version of myself, although not a name I came up with, that saves the world. She is the girl who gives for all and forgets herself. Ginamazing is selfless and modest, responsible for the happiness of others and willing to fight any and all's demons - except her own. From now on, I think I'm going to try being not-so-Ginamazing. I'm still powerful, full of insight and necessary (sometimes useless) wisdom, charm, sass, dedication, devotion, and love - but now it's love for myself. A dedication and a devotion to who I am. I'm not defined by what I can do for others. While that makes me happy to the utmost, that shouldn't be what's in the dictionary under my name. My tombstone will read a novel of things about me, not what I did for others.

I'm refreshed and ready for the new. Embracing the change. Loving those who will love me. Any and all are invited.

Who are you going to be today?

xx

Gina