The heart. The trickiest organ in the human body. Well, maybe not. The heart that swells over sweet things or gets broken over the hurtful ones...I think that's located somewhere in or around our stomach. I say this because we get butterflies and nerves over the good things in our stomach. We stop eating or feel sick or get a pit in our stomach over the bad. So our heart, the one that feels and dictates our mood, I think it's in our stomach. It could be on our sleeve, like mine, so maybe I have two. They're carbon copies of each other but trust me, it is in both places.
I say all of this because there are people around me who are experiencing things right now, myself included, who may need some insight. There are hundreds of buzzfeed or mashable articles about "how girls feel when their heart is broken" or "how girls deal with breakups" or "10 signs she's crazy and you should run for the hills". And more recently, there's the articles from guys' perspective like "why I need my space" and "15 ways I don't understand how pinterest does anything at all". Maybe I can dig a little deeper as someone my readers know personally. You've met me, had classes with me, played drinking games with me, seen me yell at someone, or give a dirty look to. I'd say only about 5% of you have seen me interacting romantically with a guy. I keep that pretty private for a reason, but I write about how I feel so even if you don't see it, you've more than likely read about it.
I have had a cracked heart before, when I thought it was broken but it wasn't. There were just some pieces missing and probably a couple pieces I won't be back because that person still shows up in my dreams every once in a while but that feel does not compare to a broken heart. A broken heart is shattered and seemingly irreparable. Well, I'm here to tell you, and those that may need to hear this the most right now, it's not irreparable. It hurts like hell, that pit in your stomach takes over your whole body, you're crying to the point you don't have any tears left and you're just heaving and dry-sobbing. Then you might fall asleep and you wake up and your head feels 19 times larger than it did when you fell asleep. Oh yeah, those are all heartbreak side effects. But what you don't know is that while all of this is happening, your heart, wherever it may be located, is trying to heal itself.
You know how when you clean your room it almost always gets messier before it actually gets clean? That is how it feels when your heart is trying to fix itself. It hurts at first, then it hurts a lot to the point where everything is cloudy and your bed is your only friend, and then one day it doesn't hurt so much anymore. Your imagination stops playing all those tricks on you, for the most part anyway. And you just kind of keep going. It's easier when you have other things to focus on like work or school. But friends are a lifeline too, and even family if you're close with them. Just because some stupid guy or girl broke your heart, or maybe you were the stupid one and they broke it to wake you up..whatever the case may be you have options to get you through it.
These things are natural. All this pain and suffering...we'd be weak and unemotional without it. Strength and emotion are two of my favorite qualities both in myself and in others. If you can't show me how you feel, or that you feel anything at all, honestly I don't trust you. I spent a lot of my time trying to make someone else show me how they feel or that they do feel anything and it was a waste of my time and I was the only one who got hurt. I got a lot out of that experience and things that have changed me and the way I view the world but that's another thing we have to come to terms with.
Changing someone isn't loving them. Motivating and being the force behind THEIR decision to change is different. You can't make anyone be something they aren't. The sooner we learn that the less the hearts in our stomachs will make us sick. I would say think before you jump but I think sometimes we need to jump before we think to learn about who we are in our weakest moments. We're not invincible but in my experience I've always had someone to help pick me up off the ground when that jump wasn't worth it.
I guess what I'm saying is don't dwell on the sad. Let it hurt for a bit, eat lots of ice cream or play lots of video games if that's your coping mechanism. But pick yourself up and keep pushing forward. I believe every single person in this world has a fire inside of them waiting to create something great in their own way. Don't let a broken heart-stomach stop you from that.
Keep on keepin' on.
xx
Gina
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