Heads or Tails

My coin has two sides today. I don't really have an overwhelming urge to write but I always have something to say.

The truth is hard to admit, whether it's to yourself or to anyone else. I usually think it's harder to admit to myself because I can lie and no one would know the difference because as strong as you believe in something is however true you make it. I lie to myself all the time. I would like to think I'm stronger than I am, and I tell myself that every day, but I don't really act on it ever. I want to, but I'm not ready to, so I don't. I could beat myself up about it but I don't do that either. I'm very, "it is what it is," on that topic. But the truth is hard to tell other people, too. I know if I told everyone the truth I would be in a lot of trouble, quite often. So I omit. I don't flat out tell lies, I just don't offer up as much as I could. I've learned this trick over time because I used to offer up the truth constantly but I was shown that people will beat you up for that. If they know the truth they'll hold it against you. You can have the pretty idea that they won't because they love you or whatever the case may be, but they will. They always do. I pray I don't get asked specific questions and I just skate by. But if I have to, I will lie. Sorry, but I'm not sorry. Not everyone needs to know everything. That's something I've always struggled with because I really do hate to lie. But I know the truth is either going to hurt someone else or make me feel bad and maybe it's selfish, but I don't want to feel bad.

Following that train of that concerning not feeling bad, I'm a stickler for finding what you're good at or what you like to do, and doing it. Whether it's a job or just an every day thing, who cares. GO AND DO IT. I know I probably sound like a broken record but I feel like anything short of illegal or harmful is your prerogative and shouldn't be influenced by anyone else. Do what makes you happy and F everyone else. In all aspects of life. Yeah.

xx
Gina