An Open Letter....

From a certain type of girl to every type of guy.

I've wanted to write this one for a while but I'm finally putting it all together, so bare with me. This is personal to me and something I have experienced my whole life that I think maybe a lot of people, guys and girls alike, don't really understand. I'm going to try and explain.

Who is this certain type of girl? For all intents and purposes, she's the good girl. The one who never got into trouble, didn't mind giving a little extra help, was good in school, probably has an alright family life, has a decent number of friends, gets along with most anyone, works hard, but never really had a boyfriend. The logical question is why? Along with all those things above, she's not unattractive, she has a sense of humor, she can hold her own in a conversation, she's what you would almost call the right kind of girl. At least your mom would. But no, doesn't have a boyfriend. Maybe never has and not without lack of trying. I'll tell you why, based on the types of guys she has encountered. Hopefully, this opens some eyes...

The Nice Guy
You guys have probably been friends from day one. You just got along because she wasn't into the drama and you are a guy so neither are you. You have said all of the right things and she laughs at your jokes but still, nothing. You have a tendency to blame us good girls for putting you in the friend zone but news flash, no one places anyone anywhere, it's just how it works. Your personality doesn't ignite that flame in us that says yeah, there's an attraction, there's chemistry. There's nothing wrong with that, we both need friends in that capacity but stop placing blame. Because we are a so-called "good girl" we want someone who challenges us. Someone who makes us see things from a different perspective. We see things the same way, so we get along...simple as that. So for all you nice guys...think about what attracts you to a girl and put yourself in her shoes for a second.

The Bro
You like sports, video games, horror movies, drinking beer, and straight up broing out. Guess what? So does she. We will hang out with you and play video games, drink your favorite beer and introduce you to ours, and then that awkward moment where we listen to you tell us about that girl from last night. We have shared interests and your "I don't really give a shit" attitude is what draws the good girls in. But what you see is that girl who gets you and will listen to you complain about all of the wrong girls. The ones who need to be coddled and expect to be treated like princesses and you just don't get it. But we do. She's the wrong kind of girl. We know that you need one like the one you're spilling your heart out to right now but you don't get that. That's what the good girl is there for. You have no idea because she acts more like your mom than your girlfriend and that is kind of her fault...but if you're ever in that situation take a closer look. Chances are that girl you're looking for is right there, she just understands you better than you think.

The Bad Boy
The automatic draw for any and all good girls. We don't understand you. You completely flip the script on us and we're like a deer in the headlights. Except we don't run away and THAT is what flips the script on you. We see right through the image, we don't judge you for what you've done or where you come from like you're so used to and you take that out on us. You can't date girls like us because we DO actually get you. All of your relationships are superficial because you want to be left alone with your vices and continue not caring about anything but yourself. But this good girl, she makes you want to care about something other than yourself so you have to get out before it's too late. Sound familiar?

I have been in all of these situations. I'm a self-proclaimed good girl and for good reason. I've never had a boyfriend and will always openly admit that. I'm independent, I take care of myself, and I fall for the types of guys who are afraid of me. As girls we're taught to become this type of woman who doesn't need a man, can take care of herself, and will take the world by storm. I love being that girl. I would love if guys loved that these girls exist. We're going to scare the shit out of you, we're going to remind you of someone (probably your mother), we're going to put you first, but we also expect to be put first sometimes, too. I kindly request guys and girls alike get their heads out of their asses and understand why things happen the way they do. I've heard the "you're just too good of a girl" speech more times in my life than I can count. The fact that this speech exists absolutely disgusts me. I'm not too good. You're too afraid. Stop being afraid and take a freaking risk every once in a while. That girl IS GOOD ENOUGH. You, as her male counterpart, are ALSO GOOD ENOUGH.

I needed to get that off my chest.

xx
Gina